Volume 3 - September 27, 2007
To
the BOWL ya'll...To the BOWL ya'll !!!!
Welcome back Great Cowboy Nation...What a great week
to be part of the
MOST VALUABLE SPORTS TEAM IN THE N.F.L...That is
right...Not only are
we now the "ELITE" class of the N.F.C after stomping
a mud hole in those
"has been" Panda Bears...But now Forbes Magazine is
showing proof that
the Dallas Cowboy's Franchise is the richest and
most glorious of all
the N.F.L. teams...So in my opinion...If it looks
like a
champion...Plays like a champion...and makes money
like a champion, and are building
a $1 Billion dollar stadium that is going to be the
largest Sports
Stadium in the WORLD, then gosh darn it...It IS a
CHAMPION!!...With facts
like that, no wonder why I'm shaking haters every
Monday morning...And
you would think that the Cowboys would just sit back
and put it on
cruise control...But NO!!! We go and sign another
weapon...Welcome to The
COWBOY NATION Mr. Tank Johnson...I know, I know, all
the haters are
saying that this is a typical Cowboy trouble maker,
and that he is going to
cause nothing but problems...But I have inside
information that all of
Tanks Johnson's guns are now officially registered
here in Texas...And
now you can just add his name to a long list of
Rednecks here in
Houston that carry rifles on the back of their pick
up trucks...Now to say
that the game the other night was a whooping would
be a big
understatement...Hell, last time I saw a whooping
like that my Daddy was holding the
belt, and ever since then I have never looked at a
3rd strike with the
bases loaded with less than 2 outs...So it would be
really easy for me to
come on my platform today and boast about the 34-10
score like some
franchises do after big wins against historic teams,
or I could maybe
throw numbers out like 2 TD passes and 329 yards
passing by Tony Romo...I could even talk
about Marion "The Barbarian" scoring twice, once by
land, and another by
air...Maybe I could say "I told you so", when it
comes to the fact
that Rex "I Still Play REALLY REALLY" Grossman is by
far the worst QB in the league and who's career was
probably ended by the Doomsday Defense of the Dallas
Cowboys Sunday Night...Hell, poor guy posted a QB
rating of 27.5, and by the 4th quarter the Chicago
fans were chanting "Lets Go Cubs"...Now thats a beat
down...But for a Championship Franchise like the
Dallas Cowboys, that is
not what we are about...Greatness is expected...That
game was
physically dominated by the Boys...And what did you
expect with the
likes of Charles Tillman trying to cover T.O. man to
man all night...Or
how about poor Adam Archeleta trying to keep up with
Jason Witten, give
me a break...And what was with all the cameras the
other night...I know it
was a another Prime Time game for the Cowboys, but
there seemed to be a
few extra cameras on the sidelines for this last
win...Do you think
maybe the Patriots are getting a little worried
about that showdown in 3
weeks...And that maybe the Yoda look-a-like Bill
Belichick had a few of
his hitmen working the sidelines...And Texan
fans...You want to know the
amazing truth... Cowboys are doing this without one
of our star
receivers...So spare me "the we only lost because we
don't have Andre
Johnson" line...Fact is, you got served a big dish
of Humble Pie, and it looks like
you may have a little left on your plate...So
celebrate loud Great
Cowboy Nation...And come time for week 6 versus the
New England Patriots,
your Dallas Cowboys will prove to the world that
AMERICA'S TEAM is back
and better than ever...Them Cheaters up North will
know what a true
N.F.L champion looks like...Dare I say 16-0???
Volume 2
Hello Faithful Nation...So sorry for the absence of
my last post...Many
of you may not know this...But the team that plays
second fiddle in my
heart, is the Miami Dolphins...And to take it one
step further...Mrs.
Cowboy Nation has also long been a fan of the
Dolphins...So in order
for me to sleep well and cozy in a bed, I had to
bite my tongue for
one week...But hey, now I am back stronger and well
rested...Yeah, I may
have gotten an earful from the Webmaster on why my
post was not
updated...But hey, the Cowboy Nation has alot on his
plate right
now...So backoff !!...My first order of business is
to address the situation at the
Miami Airport after the game last night...Yes, It is
true that Tony Romo
was stopped by airport security for bringing weapons
on a plane...But
hey!! He might as well get used to it if he is going
to keep boarding a
plane with the likes of Terrell Owens, Jason Witten,
Marion "THE
BARBARIAN" Barber III and Company...But something
bigger has been on my mind
lately COWBOY NATION...Here we have Jason Garrett,
the new Cowboy
Offensive Coordinator, who was a career backup to
Troy Aikman for several
years for the Dallas Cowboys, and he is calling
plays and and the
offense is scoring points like crazy...So I got to
wondering.?.? Could you
imagine how many points the Cowboys would score if
Troy Aikman was our
Offensive Coordinator?? Now that just would not be
fair!! Their seems to
be alot of excitement coming from the Dallas
Cowboys, as well as the "other" team from
Texas...That's right you
read correctly, I am giving some props to the other
team from
Texas...They actually look really good the past
couple of weeks...Quarterback
play has been outstanding...Their running backs have
been solid...And can
you believe their defense.?.?.I am quickly becoming
a believer of the
other team from Texas...And stop me in my tracks
here, but dare I say a
COWBOY vs. TITANS Super Bowl...That right the
Titans, sure did look
good yesterday against the Colts...And man would
that be great if the 2
REAL TEXAS teams were to square off in the Super
Bowl!!! Now that
would be Awesome...Hey Texan fans...Aint nothing
like a dose of reality in
the form of a Colts uniform on Sunday...But keep up
the
rebuilding...Pretty soon, if you keep winning, just
maybe you can look at one of the
Cowboy's Super Bowl Rings!!! Love Ya ALL...TICK TICK
BOOM in ORLANDO !!!
Cowboy Nation PreSeason Rankings
I would first like to kick off the 2007 Dallas
Cowboys Season by saying congratulations to Michael
Irvin on his Induction into the Pro Football Hall of
Fame...It's great to see such a great Role Model and
Teammate get what he rightfully deserves...And I
challenge any fan of football, Cowboy Fan or
otherwise, to watch that induction speech and not
shed a tear...I think with the addition of Michael
Irvin into the Hall, the N.F.L. is now looking into
devoting a whole wing of the Hall of Fame just for
Cowboys, man, nothing says Greatness quite like
that!!...Anyways...I really feel great about the
Cowboys this year...I hate to see the TUNA
leave...But my goodness...I don't think I could
stomach another year of seeing those tight coaching
shirts on the sidelines again...But now we have Mr.
Wade Phillips as the Head Coach, whom I fully
endorse!! And we also welcome the addition of the
"Wade Phillips 3-4"...Which on name alone means at
least 20 sacks for DeMarcus Ware and 15 Picks for
Terrance Newman...And we also welcome Mr. Jason
Garrett as the new Offensive Coordinator...What does
that guy know right? All he did was back up a 3 time
Super Bowl Champion in Troy Aikman for 10 years...We
are now also looking forward to our new $1 Billion
Dollar stadium that is currently being
built...That's right I said $1 Billion
Dollars...Hell, that's how much Dr. Evil was asking
for in Austin Powers for one of his Kharblankistan
Missles...In case you are wondering what a $1
Billion Dollar stadium looks like, just step outside
your house and look to the north, and you will see
it...Hell, The thing is so big it makes Reliant
Stadium look like one of those Inflatable Jumbo Gyms
that I get for my cousins birthday parties every
year...But did you really expect anything less from
the Greatest Pro Franchise in sports history...Don't
we deserve the best? Don't We?...But anyways, I was
busy during my break keeping track of the busy
off-season, but I was also thinking of some new
innovative ideas for my first post of the year...And
a great idea came to mind...I decided that I was
going to come up with the first EVER
DaBombSoftball.com Preseason football rankings...And
someone brought to my attention....Mr. Cowboy
Nation...Do you think you could do this in an
unbiased and rational manner, given your allegiance
to the Cowboys? And to that I answered with a
resounding, YESS!!! So remember these are my totally
unbiased rankings...And just because I'm posting on
behalf of the Cowboy Nation, I show no
favoritisms...Here we go...
1. Dallas Cowboys - Really, did you expect an
unbiased answer!
2. Colts - Lucky for Peyton, they don't have to play
the Cowboys again this year.
3. Patriots - One more kid and Brady will be the
next spokesman for Levitra...Watch out Ditka!!
4. Chargers - Got hold of their Super Secret
Playbook..Here is a play out of it..."Give to L.T on
2"...Ready,Break!!
5. Broncos - Much improved offense now that Kubiak
is gone...Where is Kubiak by the way???
6. Ravens - Ray Lewis and Steve McNair are
celebrating their 56th birthday this month...
7. Saints - New Orleans Aints...Easily the second
best team in the N.F.C
8. Bengals - Law problems like the Cowboys of early
90's...Minus the 3 Rings of course!!!
9. Steelers - Did some body put training wheels on
BIG BENS motorcycle...Where's the crash!
10. Bears - Rex "I STILL play really" Grossman is
getting another chance...You have got to be kidding
me!
11. Cardinals - Pujols back on track could be
dangerous...Wait a minute, wrong Cardinals! It's
safe Lidge!
12. Seahawks - No slippery footballs to save your
sorry A$$es this year...
13. Jets - What is the Over/Under on what week
Penninton can't play because of a hang nail???
14. Rams - Do they play defense?
15. 49ers - Coach wearing more suits this year is
the biggest headline...Whoopee!!
16. Bills - Do I need to explain this franchise to
Houston football fans??
17. Panthers - David Carr, winning
franchise....Winning Franchise, David Carr...Nice to
meet you.
18. Packers - Even I have nothing bad to say about
Brett Favre...
19. Vikings - Those Tavaris Jackson jerseys are
flying off the shelves right now!!
20. Dolphins - Passing on Brady Quinn for Ted Ginn
Jr...Is that Charlie Casserly making decisions?
21. Bucs - Looks like they are going to start 6
quarterbacks on offense this year...Good Luck with
that...
22. Chiefs - "You Play.. to WIN.. the game !!!"
Herman Edwards, Greatest quote EVER!!
23. Lions - Here is a surprise...A 1st round draft
pick...Another Wide Receiver...What a Joke!
24. Titans - Did Vince Young never hear of the
Madden Jinx...Poor guy never had a chance!
25. Raiders - Can somebody give me a reason to even
have them in the league?
26. Browns - Hurry up and finish 2-14 Since
"AMERICA'S TEAM" has your 1st round pick next year!
27. Falcons - Does this really need an explanation?
28. Giants - Two Words for you...Eli Manning
29. Eagles - Proof Positive that Campbells Chunky
Soup does not prevent ACL Tears!!
30. Redskins - I just hate everything about them,
from their Politically Incorrect mascot, to their
colors...I just hate them...
31. Jaguars - Any team that loses to the Texans
twice in one year should not be asked back to play!
32a. Texans (Battle Red Day) - The Alter Ego, Kinda
like Spidermans black suit...
32b. Texans - Easily the worse team in the
NFL...They're cheering the signing of a career
backup QB, That's how sad it is...And was this years
1st round draft pick Ahman Greens son??... You sign
Ahman Green who is 47 years old, and then you decide
to draft a 14 year old with your 1st Round Pick...I
really don't understand this!! Just to let you know
Texas does have some strict Child Labor Laws, so you
better not get too comfortable with that kid...
Anyways there you go...I know you were looking
forward to the rankings...And I also know that maybe
your team is not ranked where you thought they
should be ranked...But remember they are only my
unbiased rankings, and I'm sure that even when the
regular season starts the Texans will still be the
worst team in the league...
PEACE................LOVE..........RINGS
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